June 5, 2025
I need to look up - how to download instagram message chains - and find a way to add them to the flash.
I need to do this to be okay losing them, and also find where I did the ghosting and stuff. I know this will be painful, probably will not handle it well today, may be a project for another day.
I see my therapist today, and I am stressed. I don’t know what to prioritize, and everything is everywhere. I need to make sure I take more notes this time as I unpack so much shit. I worry a lot. I have many fears. I don’t know what to do anymore with everything I have done and all this shit I am in.
I like talking to this girl, it feels good to talk to someone so openly and frequently. I also know I tend to become codependent. She has diagnosed shit but isnt going to therapy anymore. Sounds familiar, I am aware. I am only projecting my past relationships on her, though, and that isn't fair. She is very endearing, I love looking at her and listening to her. I worry often it isn't mutual because of the directness when she does compliments and whatnot to me. I don't feel worthy of being in someone's life right now, in any way. I have learned much and in detail about her past relationship and life, and there isn't much I feel she knows about me as a person beyond what I have shared, which is like duh, but I feel like she doesn't want to know, like questions are not asked, and shit idk. It is stupid and I need to take a chill pill and lose my attitude, a cuz it isn't helping much.
She is still in love with her ex.
From the way she talks about him and how it was, it was good. The only issue is that he was avoidant, and she was anxiously attached.