May 12, 2025
I am meeting with the coordinator this morning. I will see how it goes. It is 8:40, I am waiting for the coordinator to get here. Our meeting is at 9. I am very shaky and exhausted. I am on the phone with my Mom. The meeting went well. I am hopeful things will work in my favor. Nothing will ever have the ability to go back to normal. But I hope we can get to a place where we can peacefully coexist. She has not responded to the coordinator's emails, though. She is avoiding them, which is not great because there isn’t much time to work on a resolution.
Finally, there are some smooth parts on the road. I got the summer job through the school. I will be getting paid 17 an hour, which is good in terms of wages that are much lower at home, where I will be over the summer. My lab results from the doctor testing for strep came back negative for everything they tested for. I’ve begun to smile at those who have these ideas about me, it makes them uncomfortable and makes me laugh. I am no longer afraid of the glares. I will stare back and smile in return. I think it's funny when they avoid eye contact after that.
I wonder if she is smart enough to cooperate with the school or if she will continue to ignore emails. I am sick of my cognitive ability being so low all the time while my emotions are so high. If I am not masking enough, I am often unfit for human consumption.