May 03, 2025
I had my morning electrolysis appointment today, walked quite a bit, and it was very nice out. I was walking through the market, and I swear I saw her dad. I haven’t seen him enough to be 100% sure, but I am pretty confident. Either he didn't recognize me, or didn’t care. But I felt like throwing up. I have mixed feelings about him, but the one that came up immediately is how I hurt his baby. I would fucking hate the kid that hurt my child too so I don’t blame him one bit. It wasn’t on purpose. None of this was. But that doesn’t make it okay.
I just heard my name. It may have been a car honking. I got chills in my whole body. I am scared. You know, neither of my roommates even knows that this happened. They haven’t asked anything, and I never told them. I find that sort of humorous in a way. Speaking of, my roommate just came home and closed the door with his girlfriend. I don’t want to listen to them do shit bruh. Yeah… an hour later, he just came out and grabbed two paper towels and then gave them to his girlfriend, and then went to the bathroom. FFS, just ask me to leave at that point.
My cat is so ornery recently, and I genuinely think it’s because he misses her.
I wonder what she’s up to. I hope she’s doing okay, well, I know she is. I am positive this is beneficial for her in many ways. I am ashamed to admit I think my absence is a huge burden lifted from her everyday life. I am ashamed that that’s how I existed in her world. I am ashamed I didn’t realize it soon enough. I hope she’s getting outside and enjoying the weather, it has been very nice out. I am sure her parents have taken her out a bunch, too. I am glad to have the idea that she is doing well. Even if that means my absence is necessary.
Anyways, on another note, I won 7 bucks from betting 10 on the Kentucky Derby! Woo!
I want her to be happy and healthy. If that means it has to be far the fuck away from me and never being in contact again, then that’s okay. Selfishly, of course, I don’t want that to be the case, but outside of self-interest, it's all I want for her. I want her to have the world. She deserves it.